


Override

by ThomE_Gemcity_06



Category: Trainspotting (Movies), Trainspotting Series - Irvine Welsh
Genre: Explicit Language, Friendship, Gen, Mark!Whump, Non-Consensual Drug Use, POV Mark, Scams, Settlement
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-12-15 08:53:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11802699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThomE_Gemcity_06/pseuds/ThomE_Gemcity_06
Summary: Mark gets coerced into another of Begbie's scams and when things take a turn, who but him to suffer the consequence?





	Override

**Author's Note:**

> **This is the original story I first intended, mentioned in the end notes of "FIX"** — _[Mark gets hurt while clean, but has no coverage for drugs, he wants to hold out but Simon scores some gear and gives him a hit even though Mark wants to stay clean]_ — **because I finally came up with the catalyst to set it into motion. So let's try this out and see how it goes.**

**- T R A I N S P O T T I N G -**

Five months off the detox, Ah'm skag clean n Ah'm filling oot fast fae the drug-sunken skeleton Ah wis wi all the protein Ah cannae stop shoving doon ma maw. If Ah dinnae stop Ah'll be Keezbo's twin shortly, but it's like ma body is trying tae make up fir all the times Ah chose skag over eating.

Sick Boy laughs at us in the booth n says we look like a bird who has that in-the-family-way glow before the bairn starts tae show. Not all of us kin still look Bond-handsome on the skag-diet like Simon kin. Ah thump him oan airm in retaliation. Thaire's a beat as he looks at us n then he's oan us, trying tae get us intae a heidlock. But Ah'm nae gaeing tae submit tae the bastard like a wimbling bairn, now that Ah have some weight oan him.

"Come oan, ye bastard!" Sick Boy encourages us, pushing.

"Cunt!" Ah curse him, ma coupon red as Ah fight his ploy tae put ma heid in his sweaty airmpit. Oan the junk it would have been blotchy, but now it's a healthy flush.

A knee bumps the table. Dinnae ken if it's his or mine, or both ay us. Glesses jump. Spud comes oot ay his heid-dreams, looking around in confusion n nearly shites himself like the rest ay us—

"OI!" Franco shouts, slamming his half-full pint oan the table.

We two still instantly, half oantop ay each other. Ye dinnae get oan Francis Begbie's nerves—ever—not if ye want tae live a somewhit healthy life.

"Sorry, Begs." We both say meekly n carefully unwind fae each others grip under his paint-peeling stare.

"Listen up, ye snivelling cunts..." he says, eyeing us wi a glint in his manic eyes. "Av git a grand schemie in mind that'll give us a great pile ay dosh if none ay ye fuckin cunts scupper it up!" All three ay us gulp audibly—but Franco's gaze seems tae pin us extra smart an Ah cannae help but shudder pressed against Sicks' side at whit this is gaunny mean fir us.

N Ah'm right. In Franco's scam Ah'm the star gadge. As the only clean cunt in the group (aside fae the Generalissimo, who never partakes in the impairing like the rest ay us, besides drink n occasionally toke), it's up tae us tae put it tae those pishy cunts—using their own laws against them.

Ah look from Spud's dopey sympathetic mug, tae Sicks' grinning yin. "Aye, brilliant plans, Franco," Ah mumble, taking a large gulp ay ma pint. "Those bastards won't ken whit hit 'em!" N Ah'm trying tae think ay ma ain scheme tae get oot ay being the daft schmuck taking the fall but Ah'm coming up blank n crawling oan the desperate line ay going back oan the skag (when everything wis simple wi a yin track mind) when Franco shouts:

"Fuckin right!" n gives us a comradely slug oan ma bicep (which reminds us exactly why Ah dinnae take back ma skag Mistress tae get oot ay it).

Thaire’s a wee more podge oan us tae cushion the blow, but it does little tae lessen the impact ay Franco's sledgehammer n Ah rock intae Sick Boy who just laughs n puts an airm around ma shoulders tae pat ma afflicted airm.

Ah curse the lot ay them. Why did Ah decide tae kick it again? Sicks n Spud seemed tae have conspired tae stay oan it whin usually Si n Ah get oof it taegether, so as tae avoid this very situation.

\- **T1** -

So we ur off tae London fir a visit. Ah don't think Franco has ever left Edinburgh before, always said the rest of the shite-eaters didnae deserve his presence or mibby he could only tolerate us Leith cunts.

It's a new shopping centre, a posh place that could easily take the hit. While we were casing the place inconspicuously for the best target of Begbie's scam Spud set upon us all wi the daft question ay: "Why donny jus nip aw this gear, likesy?"

"Ye stupit junkie!" Franco curses, spinning oan the ditzy man n drawing a few stares fae the passing gadges n lassies. "Does yer cunt lamps nae see the bouncer-twats trolling the place--?!"

"Easy. Easy, Franks." Simon utters urgently intae his lug, both wi sympathizing agreement wi the angry cunt n annoyance. "Dinnae make a scene here, it'll light us up before we kin work yer schemie."

Begbie really looks like he wants tae throttle the trembling Spud in the face ay the psycho’s ire n Ah stand back, breath held n hoped. Ah feel cruel tae hope that Franco lost it n beat the shite oot ay Spud, but if it got us ootay this (it's every cunt fir himself... mibby it always has been)... but Begie takes a heaving breath, cards his digits over his number two haircut n steps back.

Ma shoulders slump slightly. "Ah think that it," Ah say, n Ah'm resigned that this is gaunny happen the morn.

We leave back tae the room we've rented. Ah sorta trail behind, but Simon sticks close tae us like he kens whit ma thoughts keep slithering futilely tae. He should, we're best mates, we dinnae sneak aroond each other.

He throws an airm aroond ma shoulders n tucks us close. "That was a close yin, eh?" Sick Boy gives us a wicked, knowing smirk.

\- **T1** -

Ah dress in ma solitary dark blue Leith Provi weddings n funerals suit—n Ah look the right gadge. A proper citizen, n appear a student at the uni despite naw longer being in attendance. Ah'm still registered as ay yet, but it's currently a limbo situ that kin work in oor favour.

The plan ay itself is simple in theory, but kin be construed as a long scam. The Slip n Sue... n Settle if ye want tae get rather specific wi it. Hopefully the bastards wir the settle-quick kind ay guys so Ah won't have tae get a lawyer n go tae court.

Ah'm alone. Franco cannae be caught in this, he's got a long sheet. That's probably another reason why Franco pinned me. Si n Ah have been luckier than Spud in that sense. Francis Begbie is one ay a kind type ay psycho n thank fuck for that. But mibby his hot breath doon the back ay ma neck n eyes boring a hole intae us would be just the right kind ay motivation.

Thaire’s these right smart stairs that do the work fir ye. Like some smart suits decided tae marry an inert staircase wi a lift. It's a right smart idea if posh-ridden. This is wir Begs decided it wis gaunny happen.

Whin we first saw them, Spud's coupon lit right up like a wee bairn's, he wis almost jumping up n doon he wanted tae try them oot; a dirty look fae Begbie quelled him though. Tae be honest, Ah wanted to try them oot tae, but allayed maself wi the reasoning that they wir slow n it would probably just be faster tae walk them under ma ain power.

Ah can feel the sweat pool doon ma back n ma stomach gits twitchy wi nerves as Ah act cool, cruising, but ultimately heiding taeward ma goal ay the escalator. Ma fingers twitch against ma thigh, itching fir a hit ay something, anything—Ah'm the most sober Ah've been in ma entire life since me n Si had oor first beer whin we wir seven. Franco wouldnae let us even take a toke tae calm the sharp edge ay anxiety.

But Ah shove the thoughts ay weakness aside. Thaire's a reason why Ah quit skag. In ma ain heid, Ah get shuffled intae a pack of teenagers shopping n gossiping on the weekend n Ah'm trapped awkwardly wi them oan the escalator. Fuck, this wasnae part ay the plan! But Ah cannae panic, Ah take a deep breath.

It's kind ay pleasant, the slow, but constant upward motion ay the moving staircase. If Ah let maself wander, it's almost like that mo ay breath oan a hit ay skag in that between tick ay the flood then the fall. That moment ay utter peace before the euphoria.

But Ah'm pulled oot ay it as ma leg jerks. "Whit the fuck?" Ah ask, looking aroond at the kids wondering if someyin kicked me whin thaire’s a feart grinding sound, another jerk oan ma leg n it comes oot from under us, sending me intae a lassie and we crash oantae the stairs. Some gadges in the group help her up n ur even right enough to help us tae ma feet, but Ah cannae. Ah'm stuck. Then something's burning in the back of ma beak n throat n Ah ken something is terribly off.

_Aw, shite_! Ah think before thaire's pain, screams, n blackness.

\- **T1** -

Ah woke up feeling sick n raw. Ah look aroond n sketch that Ah'm in the hozzie. "Shite," Ah croak. Ah fucking hurt n Ah cannae understand it. Ah'm in the hozzie, their suppose to make ye feel better. Whit the fuck happened? "Help?" the call is feeble n weak in ma ain ears but somehow someyin hears it anyway.

An aulder nurse appears looking fit enough in the white uniform n starts gabbing at us about a bunch ay things before ah can handle it properly.

Ah am in the hozzie in London.

Thaire wis an accident in the shopping centre wi the escalator.

Ah wisnae the only yin hurt but Ah am the yin worse oof.

It is a lot n Ah think Ah start tae panic n Ah'm hurting a lot so she's shoves a needle in us but it doesnae dull the pain n instead shoves ma heid intae darkness.

The second time it is just as hurtful. But it wasnae the ward nurse that Ah awoke tae. It is a lassie in a proper skirt wi a folder n an aulder cunt in a suit a few steps below Sicks' stolen Armani n several steps above ma Leith Provi yin. They look really prof. Ah clock the polis officer at the door n ah cannae help the wide-eyed feart look as ma lamps dart aroond the room n Ah shift, uncomfortably exposed in bed.

Ah'm in a load ay trouble, Ah ken it. Some ay the guards had clocked oor gang the day before whin we had been aboot the centre. Ah'd never been arrested before; Ah'm tae much ay a take-the-abuse kind ay cunt after Ah'm daft enough to incite it—usually ay Franco n then Ah just deserve it.

But Ah am disabused ay that reasonable notion as the pair introduce themselves n Ah'm shocked by whit they tell us. Ah am not tae be jailed fir the scam after all but rewarded.

After an hour n several documents signed in ma shaky script, Ah'm finally left tae maself. Holy shite, Begbie is gaunny be beside himself as the happiest cunt in Leith whin he hears aboot this.

But Ah cannae think oan it long n Ah'm shouting fir the nurse. Ah am suffering n cannae understand why the want us tae suffer.

"Ah just need something tae take the edge oof," Ah plead whin she finally comes in whit seems hours later n she denies ma appeal.

"I know your history, Mr Renton." She informs us n is nae impressed wi ma watery puppy-eyes n sulking.

Ah give a petulant whine as she leaves. They must have got ma file fae the hozzie in Edinburgh, the pages that tell ay the visit Ah paid that put us oan the clean track.

Ma last visit to Tollstreet, Mother Superior's. Still dinnae ken if it wis a bad hit or if ma body just couldnae handle one more injection n Ah wis just drowning maself by then.

Whin Ah am oan heroin it's a barry time n whin the end comes, it will be a barry end tae. Thaire's nae fear, nae worry. But in the detox ward ay the hozzie, strapped tae a bed like a captive wi the high naw longer clouding ma fears—Ah was scared shitless. Ah wis clean n clear fir the first time in a very long time.

This time, Ah did nae run back tae skag, ma past favourite Mistress ay the Damned. Ah banished her fae ma body. She has other far more willing cunts tae go tae than tae bother wi ma unwilling soul anymore n Ah only think ay her as a passing thought nowadays before ma mind moves oan tae the important things again.

Ay course, Ah still drink n smoke n toke, n take speed now n then, or dubious pills that Sick Boys slips us whin he's feeling generous. But Ah dinnae touch the needle anymore or the pipe. Ah'm oof the hard stuff fir good is the promise Ah tell maself oan hard times like now.

\- **T1** -

Ah spend a total ay a night, a day, n a night in the London hozzie. N Ah get nae a single visit from ma cunt friends. Ah dinnae ken wair they ur but assume they went home; must have found oot whit happened n ran. Ah am plagued wi thoughts ay betrayal stuck up in the hozzie, Ah can take the payment dosh that wis transferred intae ma account like all the other victims n run.

Ma rationale fir the thought ur simple n reasonable. The scam may have been Begbie's, but the only reason it succeeded is because ay me. Spud n Simon did shite, even if whit happened wis nae ma plan. Ah still took the fall n ah still got the money. Ma hospital bill is all paid fir, Ah can get the driver tae drop us anywhere that isnae Leith—but Ah cannae seem tae go through wi it.

Ah'm back in ma suit, it is all Ah had n they wouldnae very well let us oot in the gown. It's torn wi blood stains, n the entire outer seam ay the right leg is cut in the slacks tae allow room fir ma cast up tae ma thigh.

Ah'm dropped back a Leith n fill ma prescription ay antibiotics n ay the mind tae heid back tae ma parental home, let ma Ma fawn over us. But Ah'm caught oot before Ah can try n Ah'm nae fast enough oan the crutches tae get away—fae the mastermind himself; Generalissimo.

"Rent Boy!" n he's dragging us over tae the Cenny wair he's tae meet the boys, ma feeble protests n choked whimpers ay pain falling oan deaf ears. "Look who Ah found, wandering the streets like a lost wee cunt!" he calls.

He shoves us intae the booth instead ay letting me sit oan the outside so Ah can prop ma leg oan a chair tae try n alleviate the pain. Whit Ah really want right now is tae fucking lay doon but he's having none ay it! He wants the fruits ay his labours—ha! Ah would laugh at the thought if Ah didnae hurt so much n want tae hurt more.

Ah'm shoved in between Begbie and Spud, wi Sick Boy all the way oan the other side ay the booth. "Alright, Rents?" Spud asks us as Sicks eyes us silently fae the other side.

"Aye--" is all Ah manage before Franco is taking over:

"Aw, he's sound, Spud!" he says, giving us a sound thump oan the chest (which ma breath wheezes oot ma lungs instantly n Ah fight the urge tae cough), tae prove his claim. "Now that he's oof that dirty shite!"

"Thanks, Franco." Ah manage.

He just gives us a nod n sets back oantae his original track. "Tell us a story, Renton."

An so Ah make some shite up n hope the fallout willnae be tae hard if he finds oot the whole thing wis an utter accident that Ah just happen tae be caught up in. "…Ye should have seen this fucking cunt in his suit wi his haircut, shaking at the foot ay ma bed basically throwing the dosh intae ma lap." Ah'm exaggerating, but it's fluffing up Franco's feathers n keeping mine fae being bent n broken. "Yes wir fucking genius, Franco. Smartest cunt in this place. Ye hear that, you fucking wankers?!" Ah shout oot intae the pub n Franco is loving it, "Ye listen tae every word ay this cunt if ye ken whit's good fir ye or ye deserve whit ye fucking get!" Ah have nae fucking clue whit the hell Ah'm saying, Ah'm just trying not tae give intae the urge tae greet fir the pain. It would nae go over wll in this crowd of cunts. Mibby whin we finally get home, Si will turn a blind eye n let us blubber without embarrassment. "Couldnae have done it wioot yer point plan, Begars."

Franco plants a hard one oan ma bruised heid. "Yer a beautiful cunt, Mark. Ah ken ye hud it in ye tae nae fuck this up!" he gives us a hardy shake that rattles ma already thumping brain in ma skull; fuck! "Let's see it, then." He says.

"What?" Ah crinkle ma eyebrows, trying tae steady ma sight. "It's in ma account, Franco--"

"Ye do nae have it oan ye?" he growls, giving us a stinky, suspicious eye like he kens whit Ah wis thinking in the hozzie.

"No--" Ah can sketch he's getting pissed n Ah gulp. Fuck! Ah flash pleading eyes across the table at Sick Boy who huffs a very put-upon sigh but intercedes like the best mate he is:

"Come oan, Franco. Give him a minute. He just got back. He hasnae even had a drink fir Christ sake!"

Franco's heid turns toa him n Ah can feel Spud next tae us, holding his ain breath, but Sicks remains relaxed n unchallenging. "Then git oof ye arse n git him un ye fucking cunt." Begbie jerks his heid toward the bar in order. "Bring us a roond back!"

Sick Boy gives us a brow twitch that states clearly 'ye owe us!' as he slips fae the booth n over tae the bar. When he comes back, handing aroond the pints Ah gulp mine like a fish returning tae the water after being caught. Ah haven't had anything since the thin gruel at the hozzie fir breaky n the alcohol hits me fast n easy, making us a flash light-heided.

Begbie wants his share tomorrow n Ah dinnae argue. Ah just smile n nod n hope it will get us ootta thaire n intae bed faster.

Ah find another pint appearing in front ay us almost as soon as Ah'm finished the first. N Ah ask naw questions. It just makes us want tae take a pish n more unstable oan the crutches. But at least it fuzzes the edges ay ma ache—at least until Ah go through the trip home.

Spud helps Sick Boy finally drag us back tae our gaff oan Montgomery, giving us a wee gentle hug before taking oof. Ah hobble over tae the bed, drop the crutches tae the floor n collapse oantae the mattress. "Fuck," Ah hiss.

Now that Ah'm still n doon, the full amount ay the pain finally washes over us n Ah moan, eyes press closed as tears prick behind them.

Si stands beside the bed, looking at us pitifully wi a sharp downward slash ay his pouty lips. "Why ur ye so whiney?" he questions, "Did they nae give ye something?"

"Naw," Ah mumble, "They got hold ay ma hozzie record wi ma overdose n refused tae give us anything."

"That's shite, mate." Simon sympathizes. "Want us tae give ye a fix, do ye right up?" he offers.

"Ah'm clean, Si. Ah dinnae want that fucking shite."

Ah dinnae have tae sketch him tae ken that he rolls his eyes. "Yer a right daft cunt, Mark, wi yer stupid posh regulations. Yer even harder tae stand now that yer clean." Ah make naw response. "Fine. But ye better nae keep us up wi yer whining." He gives the bed a kick n Ah grunt at the jolt.

"Fuck ye," Ah tell him as he turns n Ah can't help the fleeting smile across ma frowning mouth. It's the little things that show Simon David Williamson cares.

"In yer fantasies, Rents. In yer fantasies," Ah think Ah hear him mutter as he shuts the door.

Ma whimpers disturb his sleep n Sick Boy wasnae very pleased wi us in the morn, nae that Ah wis ay a very great mood either—neither made better whin Franco comes pounding oan the door early wanting his share like promised at Cenny's.

If Ah withdraw everyone's share at once, it might look suspicious. But I do Franco's right away, Ah'm not stupid enough even in ma cloud ay pain tae make him wait—even though the last thing Ah want tae do is be oot n aboot. Spud willingly agrees tae wait fir his share, even admits quietly that mibby it is better if Ah hold oantae it so he doesnae just blow it all oan skag which everyone kens he will.

Simon give us the ultimatum ay the end ay the week.

Ah spend the next five days staying in bed as much as Ah can, only getting up fir food, tae pish, n wash the pain sweats wi a wet cloth. Ah have yet tae take a shower, cannae by maself wioot getting ma cast wet n Ah'm nae asking Sick Boy; the cloth still leaves us smelling a tad ripe but it keeps the worst ay it away.

Spud gave us a visit n brought with him a London red-top that Ah had naw idea how he got his hands oan, that had an article ay whit happened at the shopping centre with the escalator n the compensation green given tae the involved injured parties like maself (thankfully nae mentioned by name). Ah make the scattered gadge promise nae tae show Begbie; the last thing Ah need is the psycho charging in here wi the state ay us, reacting however he might at the news that it was all an **accident** n not the draw ay his 'incredible' plan that got him paid.

Sicks was even feeling generous n brought us some fish n chips, taking the extra fish cos he kens Ah dinnae eat meat or fish n leaves us the chips as we watch Sean Connery on the TV.

But ma vacation ay pain n misery is put tae an end as Sicko badgers us up; he wants his dosh. Even makes us a cup ay coffee tae move us along as Ah managed tae struggle oan a pair of shorts over ma cast, one scuffed tennis shoe oantae ma foot n a shirt before he's herding us oot the door.

Ah'm tae annoyed n in pain tae give a shite whit he needs his share so urgently aboot, n Ah'm sure he tells us exactly his plans n Ah'm nodding n making the appropriate sounds, but nae a single word ay whit he's fucking saying penetrates ma pounding skull.

Ah do get thrust back intae reality whin he slyly offers tae do the withdraw himself, allowing us back tae the comfort ay the gaff, whin he kens Ah'm distracted. Ah dinnae fall fir it. Simon's ma best mate, but fuck if Ah'm gonnae trust him with ma accounts info.

He purposefully lengthens his strides so Ah'm either left behind or struggle tae keep up wi him. Ah refuse tae play his game n go at the pace that willnae wipe us oot completely before Ah can get back tae the gaff n collapse again in exhaustion n pain. Ma brilliant decision leaves it one-nill in ma favour as Sick Boy is left tae loiter in front ay the bank smoking a cigarette as he waits fir us tae arrive.

Ah grin as he scowls at us, grinding the butt intae the walk whin Ah finally arrive. Ah wipe ma sweaty mug oan ma shoulder as Ah wait whin he's forced tae hold the door open fir us like Ah wis a lassie. Ah give a superior snicker as Ah pass the threshold n in retaliation, he sticks his toe in front ay ma crutch rubber.

Ah can't get the crutch back under me, Ah'm going doon. Ah cannae stop it. Shite, this is going tae hurt. But even as he trips us, he catches us. That was Simon.

"Fuck, Si! Ye cunt!" Ah shout, drawing looks from the other bankers. Ah ignore them as Ah try tae catch ma panicked breath back. Sick Boy pets us condescendingly soothing oan ma back, even as he has that wicked twinkle in his eyes. "Ye fucking bastard." Ah whisper n he grins like it's a compliment.

As soon as Ah give Sicks his share, he turns n just leaves us oan the sidewalk ootside the bank, wioot even a backwards glance or cheerio, just a raised airm. Ah stare after him like Ah'm a fucking heartbroken lassie.

Ah'm still shaky fae ma near encounter n want tae sit, but Ah ken that if Ah do, Ah willnae want tae get up fir awhile. Ah'm fucking exhausted n just want tae lay doon, alone wi maself in ma ain misery—so Ah take a cab back.

Ah managed tae gulp doon a gless ay water n get ma shoes oof n peel oof ma sweated-through shirt before Ah collapse back intae bed, falling intae an exhausted, pained, fevered, restless sleep.

Ma dream is fucked up, it's nae coherent. Ah hear murmuring, a familiar voice, but Ah can't seems tae pull towards it n the safety Ah'm sure it will provide fae this pain. Thaire's a warmth oan my chest. Heavy, settled.

"Hey hey." It's the voice again, clearer. Ah jolt n ma eyes snap open, breathing heavy. "Easy."

"Si?" Ah ask in confusion, looking up at him, disoriented.

"Yep." He nods, nae looking back at us but fussing wi ma right airm.

"Whit're ye--?" Ah start tae ask, ma heid turning n Ah sketch whit he is doing tae ma airm—cinching his broon belt aroond ma bicep. "Whit're ye doing?!" Ah cry.

"Gonnae fix ye right up, Rents." He promises us.

Ah struggle beneath him, trying tae buck him oof but he has us. The previous weight Ah had over him doesnae help us now, Ah'm tae weak in ma current state tae exert any power behind it fir it tae be ay any use. N Ah just collapse pathetically back wi a whimper n his weight sinks back oantae us. Ah'm pathetic.

"Please, Si!" Ah beg him, feebly trying to pull oof the belt but he just shifts his knee n ma free airm is trapped. "Dinnae!"

"It's fir yer ain good, Mark." Sick Boy growls firmly. "Ye cannae keep oan like this fir both our sakes." He takes ma wrist n stretches ma airm along his warm, muscled thigh. Ah feebly try tae tug it free but he holds it firm n abuses a healthy vein tae the surface ay ma elbow.

"Simon," Ah wimble. He ignores us n picks up the needle ay cooked skag he has already prepared oan the mattress next tae us. "Naw..." N Ah watch helpless, tears pricking ma eyes as the needle breaks through ma healthy, healed, sensitive skin. Ah whinge. Ma blood swirls whimsically intae the syringe n Ah turn ma heid away, unable tae watch as Ah am broken as he presses the plunger before releasing the belt n pulling the needle.

Ma back arches n Ah gasp as it hits us, almost feeling painful in its intensity. Simon grabs ma coupon, hold us steady, thumbs brushing ma cheeks in soothing strokes. Ah try tae fight the hit, even though ah ken it's nae possible. A tear leaks fae the corner ay ma eye n he licks it away wi the tip ay his tongue.

He rests his foreheid against mine n murmurs, "It's alright, Ah got ye, let go, Mark." N his breath collides wi mine, forcing us tae breathe n fall intae the embrace.

Ah hate him. Ah love him. Ah want tae kill him fir forcing this intae us against ma will, ma want. He kens Ah didnae want this. Ah begged fir him nae tae but he did it anyway. Ah will, Ah swear, Ah promise—but then the high closes over ma mind n Ah'm flying, floating, free, careless, fearless.

Right now Ah dinnae care, Ah cannae care, Ah am nae capable as Ah am pain-free fir the first time in more than a week. Ah will beat his fucking arse once this barry, braw high throws us doon again n Ah am fae the familiar, sensual caress ay our Mistress ay the Damned.

f

**- T R A I N S P O T T I N G -**

**Author's Note:**

> **So... this wasn't exactly how I had intended it either LOL but I'll keep it 'cause I kinda like and it gave me some trouble so posting makes the effort worth it. I totally got carried away with it again ;P  
>  Please like and review?  
> I started to write this in 3rd Person POV, but I just find it more... content, to write in Mark's POV.**
> 
> **Deleted:**  
>  Ah'm the oanly clean yin, besides Begbie, who never took any impairing thing besides drink n the green. | **Why did he decide tae be clean this month? Sick Boy n Spud seemed tae have better sense than him.** | The old Slip-n-Sue. It would be easy, Franco said. Because all his ideas were fool-proof, even a spacey ginger cunt like him could pull it off. And he was clean for the time being. Begbie, ay course, never touched skag, but that didn't matter because either Begbie got his way or you got your balls carved off with a broken bottle. All he had to do was take the fall—literally. Even though it was Begbie's master plan, the bastard had no intention ay taking the fall for anything, even if that landed them in some heavy dosh. Selfish cunt. He was always strapped for notes, even though he was off the skag. It vanished into the atmosphere like it was a detox hallucination in the first place. | **Like a staircase n lift had an aphetic affair n some suits took advantage n now there are escalators.** | They must have got ma health file from the hozzie in Leith n saw the reason ay ma most recent visit.


End file.
